All this exposition. If there’d been more pages in the scene I probably would have figured out some means of injecting a full summary of Everything into West’s monologue. In my defense, this scene’s become almost vestigial since the rewrite began. At the time I was brewing what would become this chapter, a frequent – nay, constant – complaint (read: …
New render to fill blank space – a lot of blank space. Looks pretty spiffy, I think. Back in the day, this was the first page after I quit smoking. I stayed quit for about a little over a year (or a little under a year, I forget), then relapsed. As of this writing, I’m still relapsed. One of these …
Oof. This page totally talks to the audience: < Greg> That wasn’t a complete summary. < Naomi> No shit. :P <@West> [the rest of it] <@West> I’M PAUL HARVEY, MOTHERFUCKERS! SEE HOW I MENTIONED DAD’S LOKI?! < Greg> Yeah. Why’d you do that? <@West> So Raven’s comment a couple of pages back has some more context. < Greg> o_o < …
New page! Point of fact, Recon 1-4 are all new pages – written back in The Early Days, when the second edition was just starting to build up steam. This new sub-scene partially restores (in concept) a chunk cut from the original outline for this chapter. The initial draft had featured a much longer scene on the Sabrosa flight deck, …
The porn crack wasn’t in the original draft – I threw it in to make up for the massive, massive shortcuts I’ve taken with the new pages – the top panel was supposed to be a splash of different screens, showing porn, news reports, various stock footage… with a From-The-Majestic shot of the Shuttle featuring prominently. The idea had been …
As of my initial writing (June 25, 2009, 22:55), I still need to do the linework for this page. I’ve poked at the original TIC backgrounds (much to my dissatisfaction) and looked over the later panels depicting Sterling… I’ve just been blocking on getting it done for some reason. Hopefully that’ll be fixed within the next couple of days – …
This is – rather obviously – where the original version of the scene started. A few points : 1. Most of the remaining pages already have commentary. As of this writing (June 25, 2009), Recon 6, 8, and 10 are the only pages without any. 2. Sterling’s dialogue (and Sterling herself) may seem like a continuity break with established veil …
Too bad sarcasm and contempt work so much better in voice*- this page is positively dripping with both, forming a thick layer of frosting on the Exposition Cake. Art-wise, this is still the definitive shot of Andreissen… and I’ve done a wee bit of cleanup work on Grij in the bottom panel, removing a snip of shade that didn’t need …
In addition to souping up panel one, panel four has been given a new background, and a new from-the-cockpit shot of the Majestic to go with it. This continues to be the only torso shot of a carbon computer host in The Dualist. While I’ve done a lot of development work on the subject, this story (hell, the whole story) …
MY GOD IT’S FULL OF ORANGE. And thanks to layer group masking, the final line of dialogue looks like it’s had a giant chunk bitten out of it (which is effectively has – imagine some sort of screeching slurp washing out Sterling’s voice), and the dialogue is still editable, if I need it to be! For the record, Grij isn’t …
First major change: the display that forms panel three has been updated. Minor wording changes, and the previous front/back drawings of the Majestic have been replaced with screenshots of the model. They WERE gonna be renders, but the “toons” shader is such a huge pain in the ass that I wound up taking screenshots of an earlier version of the …
Three versions of panel three and they’ve all been basically the same thing: first to get it done, then to make it look good, and finally to keep it consistent with the rest of the redone scene. Yeah buddy! Laying the groundwork for the next Heirotus scene, in the next chapter… and neatly summarizing the mess they’ve gotten themselves into. …
To make everything fit reasonably, I did the first thing that came to mind – kept the doc’s background the original size and cropped the right side, then scaled the doc down to fit. There ought to be enough dialogue to make it work. I write this bit with the scene rewritten but without the type laid down – given …
Panel one got a LOT more headroom – hopefully it doesn’t wind up feeling too spacious after type goes on. Panel two may look like it’s gotten wider, but the fact is it’s just been scaled less than the others. Post-type, I find it amusing that the page I managed to bang out the largest amount of space on is …
Whatever’s actually going on here, I cling to the notion that this is how Murnau is processing the information. That’s my take on telepathy, and it’s a principle that plays a big part in Transitional Voices. Mastering notes, 2016.12.06 – Small but significant dialogue adjustments.
I still like how Val turned out on this page, even if she is a good 20lbs lighter than she should be. Maybe she weighs the same, and it’s all been funneled into arm length? Mastering notes, 2016.12.06 – Small but significant dialogue adjustments.
20091121 (3) – Drawn and shaded. Very minor cleanup… but the art was drawn Really Huge, so a lot of the little errors were smoothed out when the pieces were scaled into the page. 1930 – Lettered. Sorta. Not sure how I feel about the level of information in panel one, or the display of module icons in panel two. …
Aug 02, 2009 – Scaled with quite a bit of cropping – panels four and five haven’t suffered much, but the loss of whitespace in panels one and two means I may have to go back and rework the scaling a bit. It depends on how much dialogue this pages ends up with. 20090903 (3) – Lettered. Mastering notes, 2016.12.07 …
