Raven got a LOT more headspace, and the bottom “panel” has been scaled a bit… but not too much. The advantage of straight-photoshop backgrounds? They’re a lot more malleable than the 3d stuff. Continuity – Tantek’s optics now have the spiffy little side divots. While bits I’ve excised in Raven’s panels are still present in panels one and three, I …
Getting this one fixed was a lengthy exercise in un-fun. The biggest bit of un-fun was removing the publicity shot of the Z Machine I’d been using for the “back” of Xand’s diagnostic thinger – it makes the background look flatter, but it’s completely mine now – woot, woot. Also, any pretext of song lyrics is gone – I’ve learned …
Like the previous page, extensively reworked – in this case, some background buildup for panel two and a flat-out scale and tweak of the background for panel four. I’ve also tweaked the linework in three to make the veil transition look… well… more like a veil transition, starting with “in” on the left and “out” on the right. West actually …
Pulled apart and extensively tweaked – replacement far-backgrounds in panels two and three followed by scaling (down) of Tantek and West in panel one and Tantek in panel three. Panel two has been built up to give Tantek some more headspace – all of this with an eye towards making enough room for the dialogue more than anything else. The …
Making space for type again – the only line scaling here was in panel two… which probably wasn’t actually necessary, now that I look at it. My eye got hung up on the overlap between Raven and West, and I completely overlooked the fact that there’s nothing between Xand and Raven… so I could have scooted Xand left and everyone …
2009.07.20.01:07 – xeno just notified me that I’d somehow FORGOTTEN TO UPLOAD THIS PAGE. So, here it is! No substantial changes… unnecessary panel cutouts have been removied; the back of panel three was raised a bit, scale is more-or-less the same… and there’s a truckload more dialogue. So. Many. Words. When this scene was first written, the universe was a …
Had to move the photos around to fit the text… which is a partial recap of DCR highlights (highlights of scenes that have yet to be created at this point in time, unfortunately, but which have existed in outline for years). Note to self for future parts of the rewrite: LESS WITH THE TALKING, PLZ. Minor cleanup otherwise. Mastering notes, …
Excised several panels – all the stuff between Raven and Raven – for plot reasons. Keeping them around when they have no bearing on what’s being talked about would be totally pointless… and besides, I need that headspace. I need it for WORDS. Good thing I never cropped the old pagefiles. Mastering notes, 2016.12.06 – Minor dialogue adjustments.
Replaced the first panel to match with the environment of the previous pages. More blue balances with the diagnostics thinger quite nicely, I think. Also, this “gearing up” sequence is no longer dialogue-free filler, thanks to the aforementioned bugs. I felt like such a smug bastard when I omitted Raven’s briefing in the first edition… it wasn’t until much, much …
Visual continuity: Added the metal muscle liner thinger to Xand’s upper right arm. Offhand, I’m pretty sure this is the only panel it was missing from. Visual upgrade: Raven’s handheld is no longer a white mess of emoticons and whatnot. It’s been prettied up on this page, and for the rest of the scene. All in all, things are about …
More headspace for the top two panels; not much change for everything else. This wound up creating the right amount of space for West and a bit too much for Raven. Tantek’s fingers on the bottom panels never made much sense, so they’re gone now. Less cleanup time on this page than the last two – while it arguably needs …
Panel three has been extended upwards; panel four outwards. The tweaked three has been re-used over the next couple of pages, just like it was the first time around. Less linework meant less hassle the first time around, which translates into less cleanup this time around. I could nickel-and-dime to my heart’s content, but really… this is the first page …
Lots of work here, all around – repaneled, with plenty more headspace in panels three, four, and five… and a new top-of-the-head for Xand in panel two. She ate up WAY too much space otherwise. Also, redid the keypad on Raven’s handheld – it’s been parted out into its own .psd file and is now consistent for number and position …
Despite panel one being the reference image for West for many moons, I totally hate this page. I hate it bigtime. Like the previous page, re-laid out from scratch… and for the first time, with too much space in the wrong areas. Or rather, space where there doesn’t need to be and no space where there does, or something. Fortunately …
This page reminds me way too much of Alien 4. I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing. Though panel two looks pretty cool. Mastering notes, 2016.12.06 – Adjusted Dyluck’s eye-line in panel one.
No major alterations here. Unlike the last two pages (and large chunks of the rest of the scene), this one was pretty trivial. Which is great, given the amount of work it required the first time around! Mastering notes, 2016.12.06 – Minor art adjustments: all legible text has been smeared into illegibility.
Panel one got all the love here. All of it. The background’s been raised and souped up a bit, some energy haze/BLAM! has been strapped on, and a few other tweaks have been added. I thought about doing more with it, but realistically… this is good enough. Oh, and I replaced the floor of the last panel. The tiling now …
Given the spatial arrangement of the central panel, it made more sense to simply increase the headroom than it would have to build up either the top or bottom panels. This has also created more than enough space to ditch the “fake” paneling used to split up the conversation in previous editions. Mastering notes, 2016.12.06 – Minor dialogue adjustments.
Reformatting for this chapter has been done on a “cg first” basis* – Callback, then Reentry (which was Velocity for some damned reason – I’m sure it was a good idea at the time but damned if I can tell you what the logic was back then). The idea was to get Reentry base reformatted and ready for rendering, then …
Another shot replacement. If you’re a first time reader and have been paying attention to the earlier versions of pages, you’ve probably noticed that the Daedalus is now consistently moving “right,” instead of “left,” as it did in the first edition(s) of the scene. It’s a minor detail, but one of those things that springs out when you’re editing a …