Too bad sarcasm and contempt work so much better in voice*- this page is positively dripping with both, forming a thick layer of frosting on the Exposition Cake.

Art-wise, this is still the definitive shot of Andreissen… and I’ve done a wee bit of cleanup work on Grij in the bottom panel, removing a snip of shade that didn’t need to be there and adding in a bit of highlight that did. It’s an awkward shot and could, under different circumstances, merit a redraw.

I think it’s pretty obvious that the Captain and the General can’t stand each other, in either edition – if anything, they’re more obvious about it this time around. In the hands of another writer this could be played up as the lead-in to some kind of focus-stealing romance… fortunately (for all of us!) they really do hate each other. Thus, smoochies get to happen between other characters, at another time.

* Especially an Alan Rickman or David Warner voice, which Grij is presently speaking in.

Mastering notes, 2016.12.06 – Minor dialogue adjustments.


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