2009.07.20.01:07 – xeno just notified me that I’d somehow FORGOTTEN TO UPLOAD THIS PAGE. So, here it is!
No substantial changes… unnecessary panel cutouts have been removied; the back of panel three was raised a bit, scale is more-or-less the same… and there’s a truckload more dialogue. So. Many. Words. When this scene was first written, the universe was a tad anemic – skeletal, even – now that it’s all grown up, the challenge is figuring out which bits get mentioned and which don’t. Too much and it sounds forced; not enough and it sounds like I’m pulling plot out of my ass later.
Mastering notes, 2016.12.06 – Minor dialogue adjustments.