Rather than crop for width, panels one and two have had their respective skies raised. The intent for panel four WAS for it to match for scale with the panels of the next page, but… long story short, that would have required even MORE adjustment work to the top three. So things become mildly inconsistent for a page or two.
Given my penchant for deliberately inconsistently assembling the backgrounds around this time – so they looked “more handmade” or some similar bullshit reason – I suppose getting the scale a bit off isn’t that big of a deal, really.
Also, yay for the rewritten banter – this flows a bit better, I think.
Cleanup – Panel one – Tantek is now pointing his thumb at himself, instead of hooking it under his faceplate. This one’s been cleaned up prior to the previous page, so hopefully I’ll be able to work out something appropriate re: visual continuity. The “thumb under the faceplate” thing just does NOT work. I also un-lit his groin, for much the same reason.
Also, “kaysoo” would be the phonetic for KSO, or Kolg Saerai Orbital. A major orbital platform in the ATC universe – one that coincidentally has absolutely NOTHING to do with the story. Beyond Templar operations being loosely centered around KS the same way Heirotus is loosely based on Helios, that is. Means about as much as Planets What Aren’t Arrakis do to the first Dune trilogy, really.
Also also. This page was – and still is – a potential copyright snag, re: The Devil Went Down To Georgia. It’s awesomely appropriate, and Raven’s deliberately mangling the lyrics, but it may have to go at some point. So as much as I’d love for this to be the Final Version of this page, there’s a pretty good chance that it won’t be. The odds of the dog in the next apartment spontaneously combusting – the dog that’s been howling intermittently for the past four hours like a god damned banshee that’s just lost its firstborn, THANK YOU MARK – are much higher.
I’ve munged the words as much as I can. The words, I can control. That dog, the pilot light on the hot water heater, getting more than three or four hours of sleep a night… these things are beyond my grasp. Half the reason the second edition has been progressing as quickly as it has is that it’s the only thing – the ONLY THING – in my life that I can control. To some extent this fact is causing more problems than it’s solving, but that doesn’t change the situation. At least the (air) heating works, the power is on, and I have internet.
Mastering notes, 2016.12.06 – Minor dialogue adjustments.