20141215, 09:06 – The first page of the Naomi edit!
10:21 – Tweaked a total of four panels. Moved the Daedalus down in panels one and five, rebuilt Naomi’s face in panel two and tweaked Shannon and Naomi in panel three. I also eliminated references to the “iron lung” and “totally secure comms” an favor of cleaner dialogue with lower overhead, and I eliminated an extremely crude couple of lines of dialogue – panel three is now a lot simpler and, I think, funnier for the effort. Naomi’s still crude, mind you – just a bit less in this instance.
Second Edition Metadata
Relatively minor changes – new renders, one or two tweaks to the linework… and a horrible joke. So horrible. So awesome. Awesomer than the art, anyway – I’d redraw it all, but it’s already been fixed once, dammit. Once is enough!
Or should be – this is a page that’s been “fixed” three times now.
A lot of the work in this chapter has been adjusted once or twice already. Remember, it was produced before Signal (the first chapter), and in many ways epitomizes the flaws of the story and the early development process. Too many short scenes, lots of flaws – I was switching environments and characters too quickly to get comfortable (and hence, “good”) with any particular one (or two or three etc), the entire cast was still relatively new and still had to get the art bugs worked out… and it was around now that I was starting to realize this project was going to be anything but easy.